open secrets

So here's a funny thing: Wade and I have agreed that we are not going to talk haphazardly with people about Henry's situation, in order to avoid labelling him (or encouraging others to do so). We told our parents, and I have told my friend Leslie and another friend, Cheryl, who lives in Minneapolis and has a son who was diagnosed two years ago with Asperger's Syndrome (although now the doctors are reconsidering his diagnosis, but that's neither here nor there). Wade has one friend that he may talk with, but you know men; he doesn't really need to discuss as much as I do (apparently the discussing that I compel him to do at home is PLENTY, thank you).

Yesterday I had two chances to practice my 'why we're looking for a new school' speech, once on an acquaintance (a friend of my sister-in-law's) who we saw at the club pool, and again at SuperTarget, where I ran into a very dear friend of mine. Frankly, I felt better about my 'story' the second time (it's really not a story in the fictitious sense of story, it's more of an edited truth: we love Current School, but think that H would do better in a school with smaller classrooms and more structure. Which is all true!). What I felt bad about was lying to my friend, especially since she had just told me some very personal news--even though it was the lie of omission and not an actual lie.

Which brings me to the funny thing: despite our decision not to talk publicly about all this, I have written about it here, and what I have written has been read by two of my Oklahoma neighbors, one of whom (hi, M!) will be a fellow preschool mommy next year, it appears. I haven't told anyone about this web site, but now a real person in my real community is reading it and knows about things from my life that people I see daily don't know, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I like that M writes anonymously on her site; it inclines me to feel that she will protect my privacy. I am also reasured by the fact that both M and Robyn have been kind and thoughtful readers of this site. And of course, it's too late to do anything about it now; I've told the Internet what's what, and I can't take it back. It's just interesting, that's all.

I'm not planning to stop writing about any of this, even though I probably should, but I am going to make an effort to write about Other Things, both so I don't make myself crazy and so I don't make the Internet crazy. Which probably means that more people will know more things about me that no one should know. Oh well.

Is all good.