so I drank some tequila and got over myself
Last night, to celebrate my new celebrity status Our Nation's Birth, we took the kids to Cheeseburger in Paradise, because nothing is more American than Jimmy Buffett. When our server came to the table, he said, "My name is Jack and I'll be your Islander."
I said, "How long did it take you to get to the point where you could say that without laughing?'
He said, "Some days, it's still hard." Poor guy. At least he doesn't have to pretend he's from Australia.
Islander Jack asked for our drink orders and I coaxed the boys to order their own milk (yes, I make my kids order for themselves! I'm mean that way. And also lazy). Wade ordered a Red Stripe--and then spent all of dinner holding the bottle up and announcing, "I am a HANDSOME MAN next to this UGLY BOTTLE!" in a fake Jamacan accent. Freak.
But when Islander Jack asked what I wanted to drink, I was stumped. And also a little buzzed from the wine I had before we got to the restaurant, which may have slowed me down a little. Just a LITTLE, though.
"How about a mojito?" Wade said. Earlier in the day I had impressed him with my detailed knowledge of How to Make a Mojito, a drink he'd never heard of until, well, earlier that day. "It's the Cuban mint julep!" I told him. And I was right.
"No. Uh-uh. No rum. Rum is evil."
He stared at me. "Really? I never knew that about you."
"Now you do." Islander Jack was loving us at this point.
"Have a margarita," Wade suggested. God I love him. So I had a classic margarita and the aptly named cheeseburger in paradise. Look at me! I'm a cliche.
Islander Jack brought me a margarita the size of a fishbowl. And clearly he loved me, because it was ALMOST ALL TEQUILA. Somehow, having a fishbowl full of tequila with my cheeseburger made my children SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING. I played two hundred games of tic tac toe with Henry and didn't even have to try to lose! It was terrific.
After dinner, we slung the kids into their beds and watched Casanova, which had the potential to be a really great movie (Heath Ledger as the greatest lover of all time!) but was really only slightly better than meh. I could take or leave Heath Ledger, but how is it that in a movie about CASANOVA we didn't get to see one single shot of his bare ass? Or of Sienna Miller's boobs? She was horribly miscast, by the way, and painful to watch. Only the margarita got me through it.
Note to self: what would it take to have a margarita ALWAYS on hand? Hmmm . . .
New book review at one girl reading!
I said, "How long did it take you to get to the point where you could say that without laughing?'
He said, "Some days, it's still hard." Poor guy. At least he doesn't have to pretend he's from Australia.
Islander Jack asked for our drink orders and I coaxed the boys to order their own milk (yes, I make my kids order for themselves! I'm mean that way. And also lazy). Wade ordered a Red Stripe--and then spent all of dinner holding the bottle up and announcing, "I am a HANDSOME MAN next to this UGLY BOTTLE!" in a fake Jamacan accent. Freak.
But when Islander Jack asked what I wanted to drink, I was stumped. And also a little buzzed from the wine I had before we got to the restaurant, which may have slowed me down a little. Just a LITTLE, though.
"How about a mojito?" Wade said. Earlier in the day I had impressed him with my detailed knowledge of How to Make a Mojito, a drink he'd never heard of until, well, earlier that day. "It's the Cuban mint julep!" I told him. And I was right.
"No. Uh-uh. No rum. Rum is evil."
He stared at me. "Really? I never knew that about you."
"Now you do." Islander Jack was loving us at this point.
"Have a margarita," Wade suggested. God I love him. So I had a classic margarita and the aptly named cheeseburger in paradise. Look at me! I'm a cliche.
Islander Jack brought me a margarita the size of a fishbowl. And clearly he loved me, because it was ALMOST ALL TEQUILA. Somehow, having a fishbowl full of tequila with my cheeseburger made my children SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING. I played two hundred games of tic tac toe with Henry and didn't even have to try to lose! It was terrific.
After dinner, we slung the kids into their beds and watched Casanova, which had the potential to be a really great movie (Heath Ledger as the greatest lover of all time!) but was really only slightly better than meh. I could take or leave Heath Ledger, but how is it that in a movie about CASANOVA we didn't get to see one single shot of his bare ass? Or of Sienna Miller's boobs? She was horribly miscast, by the way, and painful to watch. Only the margarita got me through it.
Note to self: what would it take to have a margarita ALWAYS on hand? Hmmm . . .
New book review at one girl reading!
16 Comments:
Huzzah for the margarita!
*Hic*
K, now I want a margarita. I'll just get on the phone and call MechanicalMan and say, "MechanicalMan, be a dear and pick up some of that fabulous margarita mix, so that we can use that Cuervo Gold we have languishing in the liquor cabinet." Then I'll make him a really delicious pepperjack Jucy Lucy (if you have to ask, you'd better google it), and we'll sit and admire the backyard. I do love a margarita.
HA!! This sounds like my family going out to eat!
Those fishbowls of margarititas do me in. Not to worry, though. Last time I was about to take my first sip, I looked over to see Hubs taking looong gulps from a femur-sized glass of beer. Since we need a driver, I'm usually it now.
I forgot about this at our last anniversary dinner, and ended up on a cell phone, laughing and screaming at my friend to come get us from our $40 per plate restaurant. The maitre'd was charmed.
that's too bad about casanova, I had high hopes for it. Although, I saw "The Devil Wears Prada" yesterday and it's fantastic. It's got that "happy non-confrontational, but not spielbergly perfect" ending which is nice but perhapse a bit too sweet. Aside from that, Meryl made me giggle like a maniac.
oh, and Three cheers for Margaritas.
Wait, you would WANT to see Sienna Miller's boobs? But they're so.....POINTY. I'd pay money NOT to see them.
You are such a dear. Thank you for answering the phone.
When I lived in The Keys, my friends would dedicate the song Margaritaville to me whenever we went out anywhere, sort of as a joke.
A friend of mine is a passion parties consultant and I wonder how she says some of the product names without cracking a smile. It's kind of like working at Denny's and suggesting they get the Moons over My-Hammy.
Snakes on a plane.
Gee, MY kids are so much less annoying with a margarita in me, too!
I know what a mojito is if only b/c I am a former barwench...But seriously, Susan, can you email me?
"It's beer! Yay, beer!"
I love the Red Stripe commercials. LOVE them.
I'm going to have to go check out your book site one of these days, but not now because Sophie has declared that if she doesn't get to buy flip-flops today her life just might end.
I am sitting in the cafe at Barnes & Noble, hungover as all get out, squeezing every last moment of babysitter time out of this morning, wiping tears of hysterical laughter from my face.
Now I'm going to the restroom and try to get a grip on myself, because if I don't stop muttering "freak" and cackling, I might get kicked out.
I think the best way to have a margarita on hand is to make sure you always have a bottle of tequila and some limes on hand. What? You need more than tequila and limes to make a margarita? Well, I'm sorry for you if you can't just be happy with the simple things in life... :)
MAN... i gotta try the fishbowl-margarita-cheeseburger combo when my son and i are on the brink of throttling each other!
You just reminded me it's cocktail hour here. A large margarita goes a long way when dining out (or even in) with the kids.
Dude, you're not a CLICHE... you're a PURIST. Come on now!
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