home alone, day two; or, how I got nothing done
Okay, not really NOTHING; I did get my hair cut. And no, there will not be pictures because I have a HUGE zit right between my eyes and all you will see is the zit and not my cool hair.
Anyway.
So yesterday, after I took the boys to school (where they stayed! all day! and had fun! all day!) I came home and was an icon of domestic productivity. I cleared everything off the kitchen counters and scoured them with SoftScrub; I washed Charlie's binkit; I sorted every last piece of paper on our desk; I paid all the bills; I hooked up the printer AND figured out how to use it. I cooked dinner, for god's sake, without ONCE using the microwave.
It was an amazing day.
When Wade came home, I said, "There were a few things I didn't get to today, like those book reviews and that essay and . . . " And he said, "It's okay, you don't have to do it all at once." And I thought, that's RIGHT! Tomorrow I will write the book reviews and start the essay and . . .
Or not!
Instead, I spent the ENTIRE MORNING trying to balance our checkbook, which has somehow, over the summer, turned into a big mess of WHAT THE FUCK? Of course, if I actually kept it up on a daily (or weekly!) basis, instead of waiting a full MONTH to start entering receipts into the Quicken register, maybe it wouldn't be such a disaster. And perhaps--just PERHAPS--the desk wouldn't constantly be covered in little slips of register paper.
Hmm. Something to think about.
After three hours of OH MY GOD WE SPEND WAAAY TOO MUCH MONEY AT STARBUCKS, I went to get my hair cut. Really, I'm blaming the haircut for my lost day; the appointment was at 11:30, so I had STOP what I was doing (thus losing my momentum) and GO to the salon and GET THE HAIRCUT and then COME HOME again, and by then I didn't really care any more how much money was in the stupid checking account anyway.
Because now my hair is cute again!
I thought about going to have a bra fitting, which seems like a really useful thing to do (because I really do need a good bra, or a boob job, which is much more complicated and expensive, and while I'm still not entirely sure how much money is in our checking account I know it's not enough for a boob job, at least not if I want BOTH of them, uh, jobbed). However, the bra fitting also has the potential to be INCREDIBLY depressing because I just KNOW that the fitter is going to fall over laughing at me, first of all, and THEN she's going to tell me, in the kindest way possible, that this particular store doesn't carry bras in my teeny weeny size (at least that's what happened the LAST time I had a fitting--damn you, Victoria's Secret). But then I realized that I had started laundry this morning and never moved it from the washer to the dryer, and I need to finish the laundry because Henry is all out of soccer shorts and will have to wear KHAKI shorts to school tomorrow if I don't finish the laundry. And that would be WRONG.
I am really trying hard not to fritter away this time alone, partly because sweet jesus, the kids are in school for THIRTY FIVE hours a week which is a LOT of frittering and the LAST thing I want is for anyone to think that I don't have enough to do and start suggesting that I get a real job to fill the time, but mostly because when I only had one or two kid-free hours, I always felt like I had all these things I wanted to DO and there wasn't enough time to really do ANY of them, so I would just drink coffee and read the paper or browse at Old Navy or the shoe store. And while those are all fine uses of time, I always wound up feeling like I'd not ACCOMPLISHED anything. Plus I still had to put the laundry away and feel guilty about not cooking.
With nearly the whole day to myself now, it seems like I should be able to get REAL things done, like the laundry and dinner and some writing AND the shoe shopping. It also seems like I should be able to write something more interesting here, doesn't it?
Apparently not! But tomorrow is another day. Of frittering, and, most likely, writing about it.
Anyway.
So yesterday, after I took the boys to school (where they stayed! all day! and had fun! all day!) I came home and was an icon of domestic productivity. I cleared everything off the kitchen counters and scoured them with SoftScrub; I washed Charlie's binkit; I sorted every last piece of paper on our desk; I paid all the bills; I hooked up the printer AND figured out how to use it. I cooked dinner, for god's sake, without ONCE using the microwave.
It was an amazing day.
When Wade came home, I said, "There were a few things I didn't get to today, like those book reviews and that essay and . . . " And he said, "It's okay, you don't have to do it all at once." And I thought, that's RIGHT! Tomorrow I will write the book reviews and start the essay and . . .
Or not!
Instead, I spent the ENTIRE MORNING trying to balance our checkbook, which has somehow, over the summer, turned into a big mess of WHAT THE FUCK? Of course, if I actually kept it up on a daily (or weekly!) basis, instead of waiting a full MONTH to start entering receipts into the Quicken register, maybe it wouldn't be such a disaster. And perhaps--just PERHAPS--the desk wouldn't constantly be covered in little slips of register paper.
Hmm. Something to think about.
After three hours of OH MY GOD WE SPEND WAAAY TOO MUCH MONEY AT STARBUCKS, I went to get my hair cut. Really, I'm blaming the haircut for my lost day; the appointment was at 11:30, so I had STOP what I was doing (thus losing my momentum) and GO to the salon and GET THE HAIRCUT and then COME HOME again, and by then I didn't really care any more how much money was in the stupid checking account anyway.
Because now my hair is cute again!
I thought about going to have a bra fitting, which seems like a really useful thing to do (because I really do need a good bra, or a boob job, which is much more complicated and expensive, and while I'm still not entirely sure how much money is in our checking account I know it's not enough for a boob job, at least not if I want BOTH of them, uh, jobbed). However, the bra fitting also has the potential to be INCREDIBLY depressing because I just KNOW that the fitter is going to fall over laughing at me, first of all, and THEN she's going to tell me, in the kindest way possible, that this particular store doesn't carry bras in my teeny weeny size (at least that's what happened the LAST time I had a fitting--damn you, Victoria's Secret). But then I realized that I had started laundry this morning and never moved it from the washer to the dryer, and I need to finish the laundry because Henry is all out of soccer shorts and will have to wear KHAKI shorts to school tomorrow if I don't finish the laundry. And that would be WRONG.
I am really trying hard not to fritter away this time alone, partly because sweet jesus, the kids are in school for THIRTY FIVE hours a week which is a LOT of frittering and the LAST thing I want is for anyone to think that I don't have enough to do and start suggesting that I get a real job to fill the time, but mostly because when I only had one or two kid-free hours, I always felt like I had all these things I wanted to DO and there wasn't enough time to really do ANY of them, so I would just drink coffee and read the paper or browse at Old Navy or the shoe store. And while those are all fine uses of time, I always wound up feeling like I'd not ACCOMPLISHED anything. Plus I still had to put the laundry away and feel guilty about not cooking.
With nearly the whole day to myself now, it seems like I should be able to get REAL things done, like the laundry and dinner and some writing AND the shoe shopping. It also seems like I should be able to write something more interesting here, doesn't it?
Apparently not! But tomorrow is another day. Of frittering, and, most likely, writing about it.
11 Comments:
I know what you mean about momentum...if it's going well, don't mess with it. Once you lose it, all is lost.
You really need to pace yourself for the first few weeks. This is only Day 2, and already look at you, makin' with the angst about "frittering time away"! That initial "out of the starting gate" energy burst is deceptive - but don't forget that you have 5 years of mental and emotional reserves to recharge!
If you have a day (or, like 3 days) where you don't get a lot done, it's not wasted - it's nourishing!
It's so hard to switch gears, though, isn't it?
I am planning on some major frittering of time once Littleman joins the ranks of his Kindergarten class. Don't feel guilty!! The kids had their vacation from school-now start yours!
Velma said it for me.
Sometimes I would sit around at the end of the day when both the kids had started school and think "What did I do all day? I know I did something. And hours have passed. And yet, I can't seem to think of what I have done."
As Velma says, pace yourself. Drink that coffee. Read that paper. Load up that crock-pot.
Its all good.
Phil wants to see a picture of your zit, just in case it's hott.
Screw the VS. Not that it's not a lovely place; it is. But as far as bra fittings go? There are better places. Nordstrom, for one, and Macy's, for another. Go find a Nordstrom (do you have them there?) and find the oldest woman working in the lingerie department. Seriously, the oldest. Like someone who started working there in 1920. She'll know what to do AND there will be bras in your size. I promise.
This is a big transition, and I could see it taking a while for you to find your ideal routine. You need to make sure you carve out some time for the daily margarita. Can't forget that.
When you find the bra will you let me know? I tried on a whole box of 36A's and struck out. And I'm NOT getting jobbed!
Like Velma and others said, you've got many years of NOT having hours to yourself to make up for.
Plus, there's always that theory that procrastination is actually an important step in the prewriting process. Or is that just my theory, the one I pull out when I'm obsessed with cleaning the kitchen counters and not so much with writing a syllabus.
You crack me up! Love your blog.
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